Parenting Styles

This essay is one I wrote to teach people about the three different types of parenting. One thing that I do realize, reading back onto it, is that permissive parents aren't always the type of parents to not care what you do. I believe I did not convey the different types of permissive parents well enough. There are a lot of permissive parents who love their children a whole lot and don't neglect them. They are just to afraid to say 'no'. I just wanted to make that clear before anyone reads the paper. I apologize for leaving that out of it in the first place. Enjoy!

Up We Grow

Growing up is something we do without really thinking about it. Our grandparents watched our parents grow, which led to our parents watching us grow. People always say things like “They grow up so fast”, and it’s true. When raising a child, it seems like the time flies by. Parenting is something everyone learns as they go. However, psychology has a question for almost everything, and parenting is no exception. How does the way we parent our children affect them? Everyone parents in a different way. No one can be the “perfect parent”. Although, that doesn’t stop psychologists from researching the three different types of parenting styles and how they affect our children later on in life.

As stated in the paragraph above, there are three different types of parenting. This includes authoritarian, permissive, and authoritative . Authoritarian parents have set rules and expect their children to obey them. If rules are broken, the child could love privileges such as going out, video games, or cell phones. These types of parents are strict and make sure their point is put across. Permissive parents let things slide. They are interested in their kids lives, but they don’t really set any rules or draw any lines. These types of parents usually have a fear of making their children angry with them. Perhaps if they let their children do what they want, their children will love them more. This could also just be a parent who is unresponsive and unwilling. They don’t really care what their children are doing.The third and final parenting style is authoritative parenting. These parents are right in the middle. They have rules and guidelines, but allow exceptions and are open to the fact that everyone makes mistakes. These parents tell their kids what not to do, but they are also up for discussion when the child does the act anyway. “Too hard, too soft, and just right, these styles have been called…” (Myers).

So how do these three different parenting styles affect our children in the long run. We will first look into authoritative. “Research indicates that children with the highest self-esteem, self-reliance, and social competence usually have warm, concerned and authoritative parents” (book). This type of parenting is good for a child because it helps invoke a healthy and happy relationship between the parent and the child. The child feels like they can tell their parents things instead of hiding it from them. They feel as if they will not be judged too harshly for their mistakes and/or actions. (Hughes)

Children with authoritarian parents get punished for every little mistake that they make. Strict rules that are meant to be followed might cause I child to freak out about every little decision that they make in life. It is important to have rules as a parent, but it is very easy to overdo it. “Children of authoritarian parents are prone to having low self-esteem, being fearful or shy, associating obedience with love, having difficulty in social situations, and possibly misbehaving outside of parental care” (Hughes). All of these make a lot of sense when you think about it. If a child is yelled at constantly by someone they love, they might think that that is all love is. They might go through life believing that it’s okay for someone to treat them harshly. Just as well, if you have a lot of rules at home, the moment you are without parents, you are probably going to be very tempted to break them when given a fair chance. These children will be more interested in the things that they can’t do rather than the things that they are allowed to do. (Hughes).

Children with permissive parents “tend to be more aggressive and immature” (Myers). These children usually grow up with no self-control. They have not been taught right from wrong. They didn’t get punished when they did something that was out of line. While this may seem like the child is living a happy life where they get to do whatever they want, it will end up hurting them in the long run. It has been proven that those with permissive parents are three times more likely to engage in heavy underage-drinking. (Hughes).

I don’t have any kids of my own (a good thing seeing as I am only just turning 19 this year). However, my parents have always been the authoritative type. They set rules and regulations for me, and I tend to break them. A lot. And I get punished for the bigger ones. It all depends on the rule I break. If I don’t clean the house before I go out with my friends, I will be asked why I didn’t do it and end up having to clean the house anyway. If I make a huge mistake, I am blessed to say that they talk it out with me. They help me realize what I did wrong and how I can avoid that mistake in the future. I feel like I can talk to them about most things.They truly help me become the best version of myself that I can possibly be.

No parent will ever be the best parent in the world. It’s impossible. All children need different kinds of parents. If you feel as if you aren’t being a good enough parent to your child and it is causing your child to act in a way that is confusing, you should definitely reach out for professional help. There are counselors who are willing to help you be the best parent you can to your child, however that may be. The goal isn’t to be the perfect parent in the worlds eyes. The goal is to be the perfect parent in your child's eyes, being sure that they know how much you truly love them.

Citations

Hughes, E. (2013, December 10). Types of Parenting Styles and How to Identify Yours. Retrieved September 20, 2018, from https://my.vanderbilt.edu/developmentalpsychologyblog/2013/12/types-of-parenting-styles-and-how-to-identify-yours/

Myers, D. G., & Dewall, N. C. (2018). EXPLORING PSYCHOLOGY IN MODULES. S.l.: WORTH INC ,U S.